Ghosts of Yesterday
by Misha
Summary: Six years ago, she left without a word, now she was back and had to face everything she left behind. Sequel to "All Grown Up .
1. Chapter One: Long Awaited Homecoming

Ghosts of Yesterday  
By Misha

Disclaimer- Not mine, so please don't sue.

Author's Notes- This is sort of a sequel to "All Grown Up" (which isn't finished yet), more its set in the same universe, just several years later. The events of one story don't really affect the other, except only slightly. My basic timeline is assuming that the events of BSC books took place in 1990-1992 when I started reading them, then "All Grown Up" starts in 1998 and this story starts in 2010, so about twelve years later. The same changes I made to character ages in "All Grown Up" apply to this, so if you're confused, look at the chart in the first chapter. This idea, plus another subsequent story that I may or may not write, came to me suddenly and I couldn't resist writing it. I hope you enjoy!

Rating- PG-13.

Summery- Six years ago, she left without a word, now she was back and had to face everything she left behind. Sequel to "All Grown Up).

* * *

Part One: A Long-Awaited Homecoming  
  
The whole time she'd be preparing to move back to Stoneybrook, Karen Brewer wondered how long it would take before she came face to face with the past.

Turns out it only took one hour. One hour before she ran into a member of the Pike family, ran into the man who would have been her brother-in-law if things had been different.

She'd known such a meeting was inevitable, had known the second that she decided to move home that eventually she'd have to face them all. That she'd have to deal with the consequences of her actions and face the people she'd hurt so desperately when she'd left Adam at the aisle all those years before.

However, she hoped that she'd have some time to prepare herself before she had to do so. But it was not to be because an hour after she arrived at the house she had bought in the neighbourhood she had grown up in, well the neighbourhood her mother had lived in anyway, she met her new neighbour. Who was none other than Nicholas Pike.

"Nick." She whispered in disbelief at the sight of his all-too-familiar face.

Of course, he had changed in six years. But then, so had she.

"Karen?" He asked in disbelief, his face still frozen in shock.

"Its me." She answered, not sure what else to say.

Of all the Pikes, Nick was the one she had been the least comfortable with, because they had their own history. And yet, in some ways, that made him the one she was least afraid to run into. Any awkwardness between her and Nick had been there for years and had less to do with Adam, than with their own history.

"You're back."

"Yeah." She agreed, pushing back a loose strand of her long blonde hair. "I thought it was time for me to come back home. I've been away too long."

"Six years." He acknowledged. He was quiet for a long moment, then smiled. "You look great."

"Thanks." Karen said softly. "So do you."

It ws true. Nick had always been good looking, but at twenty-nine he was all grown up and was very easy on the eyes indeed.

"So you live here now?" She asked, wondering about the fates that had her buy the house next door to Adam's brother. So much for trying to keep a low profile.

"Yeah." NIck said. "And you just bought..."

"Yeah." Karen confirmed. "I was offered a job in Stamford and it made sense for me to come back to Stoneybrook. Elizabeth's here and Andrew and Kristy and her family are here too. Charlie and his family are in Stamford and Emily's in school there now. Plus Sam and Stacey are only in New York, so..."

"You thought you'd come back and be near them." Nick filled in for her when she trailed off.

Karen nodded. "Yeah." She paused and then smiled ruefully. "I figured I had to come back some day, so why not make that day now."

"Yeah, you did." Nick agreed quietly. "Well, welcome home Karen. It's been too long."

* * *

  
After an hour of debating, Nick picked up the phone to call his brother. He had argued with himself over whether or not he should do it, because technically it was meddling.

However, he had finally decided that Adam had a right to know, and as soon as possible. Far better that he meddled than that Adam run into Karen by accident without being warned.

So, after much thought, Nick dialled his brother's number.

"Hello?" Adam answered, sounding cheerful.

Nick cursed himself for having to ruin that cheerful mood. "Adam, it's Nick." Nick said and then he took a deep breath. "I have something to tell you."

"What? What it is?" Adam asked, sounding alarmed as he obviously picked up on Nick's hesitancy.

"It's Karen. She's back in Stoneybrook, in fact she bought the house next door to mine." Nick said in a rush, not sure how Adam would react.

There was a long silence on the other end.

"Adam?" Nick prodded after a long moment.

"How does she look?" Adam asked finally.

"She looks good." NIck said truthfully. In fact, she looked amazing, but then Karen had always been a beautiful woman. Six years hadn't changed that.

"That's good." Adam said quietly. "Thanks for letting me know, Nick."

"No problem." Nick said quietly. "I'll talk to you later."

He hung up the phone then, figuring that Adam wasn't in the mood for conversation. Not that that Nick could blame him, he was sure it was a lot to process.

Six years ago Adam had been going to make Karen his wife, but she'd disappeared without a word, and now she was back. Her return was sure to reopen a lot of old wounds.

After all, Nick wasn't sure that Adam had ever really recovered from Karen's betrayal. Oh, he had put himself back together and started dating again, he even had a serious girlfriend now, and seemed to have moved on his life.

But, Nick was sure that there was still some hurt there that he hadn't gotten over and now Karen was back to stir things up all over again. Nick wasn't sure how **he** felt about her return, let alone Adam...

Nick chuckled ruefully, if nothing else, at least things were about to get interesting...

* * *

  
As she started to unpack, Karen couldn't help but think about her encounter with Nick.

It hadn't been as awkward as she feared. Though, she still had nine more Pikes to face. Well, eight, since she'd been in contact with Margo since she'd left Stoneybrook.

The year after she'd left Adam, when things had started to settle down, she'd contacted her best friend. Adam's sister hadn't been thrilled with the way she had handled things, but when it came down to it, Margo was still her best friend.

She was one of the few people who knew why Karen had left, though she hadn't entirely approved, in a way she'd understood. Margo hadn't shared Karen's reasons with anyone, stating that Adam deserved to hear it from Karen, not from his sister, so it didn't surprise Karen that Margo apparently hadn't shared her decision to move back to Stoneybrook with the rest of her family.

Karen sighed, wondering if she had made the right decision.

Stoneybrook was her home. It was where she belonged, yet did she really have any right to come back? She'd burnt a lot of bridges, cut a lot of ties when she left town and why had she fooled herself into thinking she could come back without causing any problems?

Yet, how could she not come back? For six years, she'd longed for home and the time had seemed right for her to come back, but maybe she'd forfeited that right along with many other things.

Karen sighed again, she'd just have to deal with the consequences of her actions. It was her penance for the choice she had made all those years ago.

* * *


	2. Chatper Two: Haunting Memories

Ghosts of Yesterday  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Two: Haunting Memories  
  
Adam stood in his kitchen, staring at the phone, long after he and Nick had ended their conversation.

Nick's words kept echoing through his head. _"It's Karen. She's back in Stoneybrook."_

So, after all these years, Karen had finally come home. Adam had known it was inevitable, yet he could still barely believe it.

Six years had passed, yet in that moment, with the old wounds reopened, it felt like just yesterday.

He thought of the last time he had seen her, the night before she was supposed to become his wife. The night before she had shattered his dreams and broken his heart...

_"This is the last night we'll ever be apart." Adam whispered in Karen's ear as he held her close, before he prepared to go._

She smiled, but didn't say anything, just clung to him.

"This time tomorrow you'll be Mrs. Adam Pike." Adam continued, leaning down to kiss her tenderly. "And then we'll be together for the rest of our lives."

Karen snuggled closer and then, after a moment, looked up at him, her blue eyes wide and serious. "I love you, Adam." She whispered, her voice intense. "More than anything in the world. No matter what, I hope you always know how very much I love you."

"Of course I will." Adam said with a laugh, wondering why she was being so serious. "The whole world will, after all we'll be married and we'll be together forever."

"Forever." Karen said dreamily. "That's a nice thought."

"It's not just a thought, baby, it's a reality." Adam told her, leaning down to kiss her deeply. 

Adam had gone over that night in his mind a thousand times, trying to pick some clue, some sign he had missed. Something that spoke of Karen's intention to leave him without a word on their wedding day.

After six years, he had yet to find any clue and he still couldn't believe that she had done it. He and Karen had been in love, even after everything he still doubt that, so how could she just run out on him? How could she throw away the six years that they had shared and the forever that they were supposed to have?

_You could ask her._ A little voice in his mind pointed out. _After all, she's back in town._

Part of him liked that idea, liked the thought of finally getting answers and maybe closure.

However, another part of him thought it might be safest just to avoid Karen Brewer. He wasn't sure he could handle seeing her again. It had taken him a long time to put himself back together after she had broken him and he was afraid that if he saw her, he'd fall apart all over again.

Still, Stoneybrook was small and he knew he couldn't avoid her forever. Someday he'd have to face her, he just hoped that day wouldn't come anytime soon.

* * *

  
Nick couldn't get his meeting with Karen out of his head. And not because he was thinking about his brother and what the news would do to him.

No, his thoughts were all for Karen herself. She was more beautiful than ever, that was for sure.

She'd been twenty-one the last time he'd seen her, fresh out of college and just about to start her adult life. Six years later, she was all woman, still beautiful, but with sophistication that she hadn't had before that just made her all the more appealing.

Seeing her again, had transported him back to high school and feeling he thought long gone.

He had adored her once, in the flush of youth. But she had never returned his feelings. It had been his brother that she had loved and his brother that she had crushed when she'd left without a word.

Nick had accepted that. Had come to terms with the idea that Karen had been Adam's destiny, not his, then she had left and he had tried not think of her at all.

But now she was back and he couldn't forget her. Now she lived next door. Now she no longer belonged to his brother.

_Don't go there._ He warned himself. Karen was as off-limits now as she had been when he was seventeen. Still, it was strange how she affected him like no other woman.

* * *

  
"You could have warned me."

"Hello to you too, Adam." Margo Pike said dryly into the phone.

She had been expecting this call, though she hadn't thought it would come the very day Karen returned to Stoneybrook.

"Why didn't you tell me she was moving back to Stoneybrook?" Her older brother demanded, obviously in no mood for small talk.

Margo sighed. "Because I'm not getting involved or choosing sides." She said flatly, not even bothering to pretend not know who he was talking about. She had decided in advance that she'd make her position clear right from the start. "I love you, Adam, your my brother. But she's my best friend and I love her too."

Plus she had kind of wanted Adam to be blind-sided by the news, as horrible as it sounded. She figured it was the best way to get an honest reaction out of him, give him to much warning and he might not face the feelings that she knew had never gone away.

"Did you see her?" She asked curiously.

"No." Adam said flatly. "Nick did. Apparently she bought the house next door to his."

Margo raised an eyebrow. Hmm... That was a development that she hadn't predicted.

The sadistic part of her thought it would be better if Karen had moved in next door to Adam, that would have guaranteed a meeting, but... Nick was good.

It could certainly get interesting.

Margo smiled. Maybe she should plan to pay a visit to Stoneybrook in the near future...

* * *


	3. Chapter Three: Bittersweet Reunion

Ghosts of Yesterday

By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One._

_A.N- It was pointed out to me that I got my timeline wrong. So, fixing it, "All Grown Up" starts in 1999 when Karen is 15 and this takes place in 2012 when she's 28.__  
_  
Part Three: Bittersweet Reunion

Karen managed to avoid Nick for several days and she hadn't run into any other members of the Pike family. After a week, she was almost able to forget her impending doom and just enjoy being home.

Until she ran into Mrs. Pike at the grocery store and then she was brought back to reality. There was a moment of awkward silence, naturally, but then Deborah Pike gave Karen a warm smile. "Karen." She said quietly. "I'd heard you were back. How are you faring? You look wonderful."

"So do you." Karen told her, not sure what to say who had come so close to being her mother-in-law.

More than that, Karen had dated Adam for six years and had been Margo's best friend for longer, so Deborah Pike had played a big role in her life. But that had been a long time ago.

To Karen's surprise Deborah opened her arms and gave Karen a quick hug, not seeming to care they were in the middle of the grocery store.

"Come by the house sometime." She invited quietly. "Paul and I have really missed you. I know he'd like to see you again and I'd like the chance to catch up."

Karen was amazed by the offer, having expected complete hostility from the Pike family because of what she had done. Of course, it had been six years, so maybe the wounds had started to heal.

"You were always another daughter to us, Karen." Deborah said quietly, mild reproach in her voice.

"I'm so sorry." Karen said, hating that she had hurt this woman who had never been anything but kind to her.

Hating that she had hurt anyone, especially the man she had loved. Almost as much as hated the fact that this conversation was happening in the middle of a grocery store.

"What's done is done." Adam's mother said softly. "You can't fix the past, you can only work on the present. Now, I really must be going, but I meant what I said. Please drop by sometime."

Karen nodded and then watched the older woman move on, wondering whether she would or not. She knew the offer had been sincere, but...

The idea of going back to Adam's parents house... Well, it was hard. There were so many memories. But then, really, that had been true of pretty much everything since she had returned to Stoneybrook.

* * *

"I saw Karen today."

Adam froze at his mother's quiet words. He knew that he shouldn't really be that surprised. Stoneybrook was a small town, plus Karen lived next door to his brother. Of course she was going to run into members of his family.

Hell, he knew that it was inevitable that he'd eventually run into her, though thankfully it hadn't happened yet. He was stealing himself up to go see her, since he didn't want the first time he saw her in six years to be in public, but he wasn't ready yet.

Still, he wondered why his mother was bringing the meeting up.

"I invited her to come by the house sometime." His mother continued, answering his silent question.

Adam stared at her. "What? Why?"

"Because I like Karen." Deborah said quietly. "What she did to you was awful, but I'm sure she had her reasons. She's not evil or thoughtless, so something must have made her do it. Plus, it was a long time ago. You've moved on, you have Andi, so why can't we let the past go?"

Adam knew his mother was right, but the idea of her spending time with Karen, forgiving her, still stung. He wanted his family to hold on to their anger and hatred, because it made it easier for him to do the same.

Yes, in many ways he had moved on, and yes, he was seeing someone. He even cared a lot about Andi, but... The truth was, he didn't love Andi the way he had once loved Karen.

Honestly, he wasn't sure he'd ever love anyone like that again. Even after six years, a large part of his heart still hadn't really recovered from the damage she had done to it.

The big piece that still belonged to Karen and he wasn't sure his heart could handle seeing her, having her in his life again, and not having her, and that... That wasn't an option. She had slammed that door along time ago.

"I just think our lives should be separate." Adam told his mother, trying to voice his feelings. "After all, that was her choice."

His mother shot him a look, but stayed silent.

Adam knew he was wishing for the impossible, after all his sister was still Karen's best friend, but...

The idea of Karen being in his life again... It was a frightening thought, because despite Andi and six years, Adam wasn't sure he had ever really gotten over her...

* * *


	4. Chapter Four: New Friends and Old Ones,

Ghosts of Yesterday  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Four: New Friends and Old Ones, too

"I'm Andi." The pretty brunette who had stood next to Karen during her yoga class introduced at the end of the class.

"Karen." Karen introduced, sticking out her hand.

"You're new here, aren't you?" Andi asked with a smile.

"Yes and no." Karen confirmed.

Andi looked curious. "Oh?"

"I grew up in Stoneybrook, but I've been away for several years." Karen explained. "I just started working in Stamford and thought it was time to come home."

"It's a nice little town isn't it?" Andi asked cheerfully. "I move here three years ago, I teach at Stoneybrook Elementary and I love it here. Its such a warm, welcoming town."

"It is." Karen agreed, instantly liking the other woman. There was something so warm and friendly about her.

"Would you like to go get a cup of coffee?" Andi invited and then blushed. "I'm sorry, I'm pushing you. My boyfriend swears I don't know the meaning of the word 'stranger' and that I never, ever shut up."

Karen couldn't help but chuckle. "People used to say that about me too." She confided, her smile turning a little sad as she remembered how Adam used to tease her about her inability to stop talking. Why was it that since she returned to Stoneybrook, every little thing reminded her of Adam?

Andi's face broke into a wide grin. "See! I knew I recognized a kindred spirit, so how about that cup of coffee?"

Karen smiled, despite herself, and nodded. "Sure. Sounds good. Just let me get cleaned up."

Truth was, she could use a few new friends. She did have friends in Stoneybrook, of course, but those friendships had drifted a bit due to her six years absence. Plus, a lot of them had been mutual friends of hers and Adam's and some of them felt awkward now.

Also, meeting new people was always a good thing. After all, she was back to stay and that meant she needed to make a life for herself here.

A new life, since the one she'd had was long gone.

* * *

  
Nick was outside on his lawn, doing some gardening when Karen came home, smiling and singing to herself.

"You seem happy." He couldn't help commenting, despite himself. He had resolved that he'd treat Karen like any other neighbour and had been fairly successful so far, two weeks after she had moved back, mostly because he had barely seen her.

But in truth, it was hard to actually follow through on. She'd been so much to him over the years. His friend. The fist girl he had ever really fallen for. Nearly his sister-in-law. It was a colourful history and one that made it very hard for him to treat her like a stranger.

"I made a new friend." Karen confided with a bright smile. "It felt good, like... I almost belong here again, you know?"

Nick was silent, having no idea what to say to that, and Karen blushed. "I shouldn't... It's my fault, I know that." She said softly. "After all, I abandoned my life here, I don't get to regret it."

"Do you regret it?" Nick asked softly.

He saw a thousand emotions pass over Karen's beautiful face. "I regret hurting Adam." She said carefully. "But... I made the only decision I could, under the circumstances."

"And what were those circumstances?" Nick prodded, voicing the thought they'd all had a million times.

Karen's face closed instantly. "That's a long story." She said quietly.

"And none of my business." Nick finished.

Karen blushed again. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Nick told her. "I shouldn't have asked."

Truth was, it wasn't his business, the only person who had the right to ask was Adam.

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"I was about to order pizza." Nick said to fill in the silence. "How about you come celebrate your new friend by having pizza and beer with an old one?"

Karen paused as if unsure whether or not she should accept, but finally smiled. "I'd like that." She said quietly.

Nick grinned. "Great."

He wasn't certain that he was doing the right thing, but really what was the harm in sharing some pizza and beer? It wasn't like it was a date, it was just him helping an old friend and new neighbour feel a little more at home. That's all.

* * *


	5. Chapter Five: Yesterday's Love

Ghosts of Yesterday  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Five: Yesterday's Love  
  
Before Karen knew it, a whole month had passed.

A month since she had come home to Stoneybrook to a try and put the past behind her. A month and she still hadn't seen Adam yet.

She'd been over to his parents place for coffee once, which had been less weird than she'd feared. Obviously, she no longer felt as welcome there as she had in high school, when she'd been first Margo's best friend and then Adam's girlfriend and it had been a second home to her. But she didn't feel like the enemy either, which was nice. She hated the idea of Adam's parents hating her.

Still, she wasn't sure she'd go back, even though she'd been invited. She'd went once to be polite and because not going would just reinforce the awkwardness, but she knew that she couldn't cling to the past.

Maybe six years she had been going to be their daughter-in-law, but now she was just a friend fo their daughter's. She no longer belonged there.

Though, that feeling didn't stop her from having dinner with Nick once or twice a week since the night he'd invited her for pizza.

It was natural, Karen thought, since they were old friends, both single, and living next door to one another. Of course they'd share the occasional meal and free evening.

It was nice.

And so was her budding new friendship with Andi. In the last two weeks, they'd gotten together five times already. Coffee after yoga as well shopping twice and to a movie once. They'd just hit it off and become instant friends, which was nice.

Karen was jolted out of her thoughts by the ringing of her doorbell. She opened her door and then froze as she stared into all-too-familiar face. One she hadn't seen for six years, but that had haunted her dreams for every night of those six years.

"Adam." She whispered, instinctively stepping back so he could come in.

She'd wondered so many times what it'd be like to see him again, to hear his voice, but she couldn't have imagined the feelings that coursed through her.

Adam didn't move, seeming almost froze on her doorstep. "Karrie." He whispered, just staring at her.

They stood there for the longest time, just taking in the sight of one another. Then, finally, he moved towards her and took her in his arms. She went willingly.

It felt so natural.

So natural, that for a moment, the years between them didn't exist and they were young and in love again. It felt so good to be in Adam's arms once more, just having him press her against him and feeling his heat soaking into her. Better than any dream she'd had.

Of course the moment didn't last and they pulled away, once again strangers. The six years they had been apart hung heavily in the air between them. "

You look good." Adam told her softly.

"So do you." Karen said quietly.

It was true, he looked fantastic, even better than she'd remembered. But older and wearier, which was partially because of her, she knew.

"Do you want to come in?" She asked after a moment.

Adam nodded and followed her inside. "Its a nice house." He remarked as she lead him into her living room.

"Thanks." Karen told him. "I like it, but I know you didn't come here to see my house, so why did you come here?"

She asked the question, even though she already knew the answer. Why else would Adam have sought her out? Because there was unfinished business between them and they needed to hash it out, she knew that as well as he did.

She had known this moment was going to come, had known it since she made the decision to come back to Stoneybrook, but that didn't make it any less terrifying to face.

Adam shot her a look, one that she remembered all too well. "You know why I'm here." He said quietly. "I need to know why? Why did you leave me six years ago?"

* * *


	6. Chapter Six: Saying Goodbye to Yesterday

Ghosts of Yesterday  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Rating in Part One.  
_  
_A.N- I'm not a doctor, so I'm not entirely sure of the medical facts in this chapter, but I did do some research and tried to keep it as accurate as possible. Warning this chapter is a tearjerker (or at least I hope it is)!  
_  
Part Six: Saying Goodbye to Yesterday

Adam stared at Karen, waiting for her to answer the question that had haunted him for six years.

Karen was quiet for a long time, obviously trying to decide what to say. "It's a long story and not a happy one." She said finally.

"I sort of figured out the 'not happy' part myself, six years ago when you never showed up for our wedding." Adam said bitterly. "After all the so-called happiest day of my life turned into a nightmare, so I sincerely hope you didn't run off to be happy."

He wasn't sure what he wanted to hear, what explanation he wanted to give and he wasn't sure there was any explanation that she could give, but he needed her to try. If he was ever truly going to get closure then they needed this moment.

"Six weeks before our wedding, I found out I was pregnant." Karen said softly, saying the last thing Adam ever expected to hear.

"A baby?" Adam asked hoarsely, unable to believe what he was hearing. He and Karen could have had a baby? He knew that something must have happened to the baby, because no matter what Karen had done, he knew she wasn't capable of keeping his child from him.

"Yes." Karen said quietly. "I was about a month along. I decided to keep it secret until the wedding, I was going to tell you on our wedding night. I thought it'd be the most wonderful surprise."

"Then what happened?" Adam demanded. He needed to know why there had been no wedding night, why he was only finding out about her pregnancy now, six years after the fact. Now he needed not only to know why Karen had never married him, but what had happened to the child he'd never known he had.

"I wasn't feeling well, but I put it down to early pregnancy." Karen said, unable to look at him. "I had a doctor's appointment a week before the wedding, I figured it was just a check-up, but..."

"But what?" Adam prodded, a feeling in his gut telling him that he wouldn't like whatever it was that she had to say.

"The doctor told me I was sick, that I had cancer." Karen told him flatly. "There I was twenty-two years old, pregnant with my first child, a week away from my wedding and with a few words, my whole world was shattered into pieces. I was very sick, I'd need aggressive treatment--treatment that would kill our unborn baby."

Adam stared at her in stunned silence. He didn't know what he had expected Karen to say, what reason he'd expected her for running out on him and destroying his dreams, but this wasn't it. Never had he imagined something as serious as cancer. He stared at the healthy, vibrant woman in front of her and tried to imagine her weak with disease and the image nearly tore him apart. However angry he was with Karen, he'd loved her deeply once and the idea of her fighting for her life destroyed him...

"Why didn't you tell me?" He demanded finally.

Karen shrugged, a bitter little smile on her face. "Because I loved you too much." She told him softly. "I had no idea if I would live or die and I couldn't put you through that. Nor could I tell you you were going to be a father only to rip it away from you. So I made the decision to leave."

"You honestly thought that was kinder?" Adam demanded. "You actually thought it was kinder for me to show up at the church and have you not be there? To spend six years wondering why you didn't love me and all you can say is you loved me too much!"

"Adam, we were young, just about to start our life together, we had everything going for us." Karen reminded him. "And suddenly, in one moment, it was all ripped away from us. instead of a happy life with lots of children, I was suddenly looking at the possibility of a long illness and young death and a baby that would never get to be born. I know you would have shared that with me, but I couldn't bear to do that to you."

Of all the reasons Adam hadn't expected to hear--this hadn't even come close to being one of them. Never would he have imagined the personal nightmare that Karen had been plunged into six years earlier, the one that was now ripping his world apart even more than her defection had.

"Karen, I was a day away from saying 'Until Death do Us Part'." Adam reminded her angrily. "Do you think because I had yet to say the words that I didn't meant them? I _loved_ you and I would have stood by you until the end."

It tore him apart to know that Karen had faced such a nightmare alone, that she hadn't trusted him enough to lean on him.

"Adam, we were young, our wholes lives were in front of us, or at least they were supposed to be." Karen said, her voice rich with pain. "Suddenly I was facing the end of mine and... I wanted to spare you the pain of watching me die, of losing our baby. I honestly thought it be kinder to just let you go."

"And your family supported your decision?" Adam asked angrily. He'd called and written and e-mailed Karen's family, but was never given more than a polite 'Karen will contact you when she's ready'. However, he knew that the Thomas-Brewer family was too close to let Karen go through such agony alone. But he also couldn't believe that none of them had thought that he deserved to know, it felt like an added betrayal.

"No." Karen said quietly. "They all thought I should tell you, but in the end they agreed it was my decision. Except Sam, he... He sympathised with you because of everything he and Stacey had been through and... He called you once..."

"No he didn't." Adam said, knowing that he wouldn't have forgotten that call. Though it didn't surprise him that any of the Thomas-Brewers would defend him and his right it would be Sam, who had gone through agony with his own wife and her medical battles.

"You weren't home and... He was going to leave a message, but Kristy caught him and they had a big fight." Karen said quietly. "She told him that they had to abide by my decision and Sam... He got angry. It was a long time before he talked to either of us again."

Strangely, Adam felt sympathy for Karen, knowing how hard it would be for her to be estranged from her brother at a time when she'd have needed all the love and support she could. But then his heart hardened again, because he would have loved to give her that love and support, but she hadn't wanted it from him.

"Did Margo know?" He asked, wondering if his sister could have kept such a devastating secret from him. Because that would be a much larger betrayal than the one committed by Karen's family, because at least they'd been bound by family loyalty to Karen, for Margo there'd be no excuse.

"Not then." Karen assured him quietly. "I called her about two years afterwards, when I was in remission and back to having a normal life and confessed everything. She was angry with me, of course, but... She understood and she agreed that it was my place to tell you, not hers, though she thought you deserved the truth."

"But you didn't?" Adam asked angrily.

"Not then." Karen said quietly. "By the time I contacted Margo, you were just putting your life back together, I didn't want to tear it apart. It's why I hated so long, I wanted to give you time, but I always knew I had to come back."

"Who else knows?" Adam asked, wondering how many people had heard Karen's tragic tale before him.

"Other than my family only Margo and..." Karen trailed off and then took a deep breath, "Jeff."

"Jeff Schaefer?" Adam asked in surprise, wondering what his friend had to do with any of this.

"I ran into him in California last year." Karen said quietly. "He saw me at my worst and I ended up telling him everything and he convinced me that it was time for me to come home."

Adam was surprised that his friend hadn't mentioned running into Karen, but he was glad that he'd convinced her to come home and give them both the closure they so desperately needed. As painful as it was to hear why Karen had left so long, Adam knew that he'd needed to hear it. He needed to be able to stop wondering why and truly let her go.

"So you're healthy now?" Adam asked softly.

Karen nodded. "I've been in remission five years and they think I'm cured." She paused and said sadly. "The doctors, they say I could even have more children if I want."

Adam was glad for Karen's sake, he knew she'd always wanted a family, but his heart ached for the child they'd lost and for the fact that while Karen might have more children, they wouldn't be _his _children.

"I'm glad." He said quietly. "Thank you for coming home and telling me, Karen, I needed this."

"So did I." She said quietly, her blue eyes sad. "I did love you, Adam, it just... Apparently it wasn't our time."

"No." Adam agreed softly. He crossed the room and took her in his arms. She went willingly and for a long time Adam held her tight against him, savouring the feel of her in his arms. Finally, though, he let her go.

"Goodbye, Karen." He whispered, kissing her forehead.

"Goodbye, Adam." She whispered, blinking back tears.

They both knew that they weren't just saying farewells for the afternoon, but to a part of their lives, of the past they'd shared together.

Adam spared one last look at Karen, still as beautiful as ever and then turned and walked away. He'd gotten the answers he'd sought and now... Now, he really had to move on with his life and leave Karen in the past. All he'd wanted was closure, so why was it so damned hard to walk away from her? 


End file.
